Before you become a mom, you have this overwhelming urge to buy every single baby clothing item you can find—the fussier and more ornate the better. After all, doesn’t it seem adorable to dress your little one in fabulous frocks every day?
Wrong. As soon as you actually have the baby, you realize your time is completely consumed by so many other details that you want clothing as simple and easy as possible.
Here are just a few of the most annoying features on kids’ clothes – what else can you add to this list?
- The zippers. I hate the zippers on kids clothes. First of all, jackets and such are already awkward to put on other people. I’ll admit, the only way I can zip something up is to stand behind my child and do it like I were zipping up my own jacket. But why are the zippers on kids clothes completely surrounded by excessive fabric? Is it structurally necessary? All I know is, my fingers seem like giant’s fingers when I’m peeling that fabric back and trying to zip up a micro-sized zipper at the same time.
- Sizing. Why are kids clothing so haphazardly sized? My 2-year-old wears clothes in the sizing range of 24 months – 4t. This kind of thing would never fly in the world of adult clothing. I wear clothes in the size 2 to 4 range, but if they were sized like kids clothes, I’d wear anything from a size 0 to a size 14.
- Shape: All jeans you find for baby girls are skinny jeans! My daughter like most baby girls has chunky calves/ legs and she’s a fairly thin baby. How do the expect her to fit or move in skinny jeans!
- Washing. I’m not sure why kids clothing manufacturers even make clothes with special washing instructions. Hand wash? Line dry? Dry clean? Nope. If it can’t handle being washed with everything else, it probably won’t survive long in our house. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
- Stains. Is there something special about the fabric used for kids clothes that makes any and all stains a weird beige-y/brown color? Spaghetti sauce stain? Brown. Spilled plum jelly? Brown. Orange juice? Brown. Just one of those questions the universe will never have an answer for.
- Uncomfortable graphics. Those adorable graphics I talked about earlier? They’re cute on the front, but on the other side, the side touching and rubbing gentle baby skin, is an equal combination of chafe and itchiness. No wonder kids are constantly pulling and tugging at their clothes.
- They’re too old. Not my kids, the clothes. Why do they even make booty shorts and crop tops for preschoolers? Why do I have to search into the depths of the internet (I’m talking page 3 of a Google search and beyond!) for a pair of Bermuda-length shorts for my kids?
Finally, I think the very worst thing about kids clothes is:
- Kids grow out of them. My heart aches every time my youngest, and likely last, child grows out of her clothes. I get a lump in my throat when I fold up a cherished shirt or bodysuit for the last time and put it away in storage for someone else’s child. If you are one of the people to ever inherit clothes from us, there’s a possibility they are stained (brown, of course) with my tears from the realization that my babies are growing up.
Anything with ruffles is a no-no in my humble opinion, unless you want to spend hours ironing children’s clothes. The simpler the better. When you choose baby clothes with ruffles, they tend to bunch up after they’re washed, and they never look as good as they did when you first bought the item. I realized quickly that simplicity is best. If you want something a little different, opt for statement onesies or colors that you like, and skip the extra adornments.
